Hazuki Dojo

That sucks really bad man. I've never had full blown attacks, just felt really bad, so I wonder how those must feel

I used to have them very often but learned to control and deal with things better that set them off but yesterday after years without one one finally hit,ah well just nice to have today off.

Are you or were you ever on anxiolytic medication?

Or did you just attempt to make life changes and try to suppress stressful situations in that manner?

Well, all the best, and it's great to see that you can be fine with all that.

A positive attitude is very important.

Ryudo wrote:Life changes plus I was diagnosed with ADD,OCD and SAD(Social Anxiety Disorder) but over the years you just learn to control these things to where it's practically un noticeable. They can't give me pills even if I wanted them (which I don't) since my thryroid would reject them.(Hypothryroidism) haha yeah sounds like I am a mess of problems and technically I am but I try my best to never let that stuff get in the way or use it as an excuse and overall do just fine...it's just a bit harder for me but meh kinda used to it by now.

Yes! No pills for ADD! They had me on that ritalin from age 9 but I stopped taking them around 15. Made me into a robot with no interesting qualities. Definatly don't take them. I mean look how I turned out?...Ok maybe not the best example.

But on a more serious note, I cannot recall a time in my life where I have been more depressed than I am now. After over 2 years of commited work I have received nada for it, not even a raise. I get little respect because of my young age in the field. I can't live where I want to because it's out of reach. I just don't know what I have going for me anymore. No social life, nothing. I don't feel like I'm worth anything. I just want to get in my car and drive off forever.

Hope you're well, Ryudo. You've got a pretty strong attitude but be careful anyway. Your body can only take so much

Yukupo wrote:That sucks, Tao. What university/major are you trying to enter? You mentioned portfolio, are you going into art?

I'm an illustration major. I was planning to apply to Long Beach, which I heard has a strong art program, and I also wanted the exposure with other students in different majors. I'll apply for the Fall semester, but judging by the way things are going, they're going to try and cut enrollment as much as they can.
I'm considering applying to Art Center in Pasadena, which is a private college and has a seriously good/famous reputation, but I'm going to need to develop a really kickass portfolio to earn some scholarships to pay for it. Right now I feel my stuff is enough to get me admitted, but not outstanding enough to earn money to pay for it. My portfolio kicks something, but no ass kicking I can see. I'm a tough self-critic so maybe a hiatus from a regular school schedule will be what I need to really feel confident about what I'm doing.

Jeff wrote: Yes! No pills for ADD! They had me on that ritalin from age 9 but I stopped taking them around 15. Made me into a robot with no interesting qualities. Definatly don't take them. I mean look how I turned out?...Ok maybe not the best example.

Kids are supposed to be hyperactive and full of energy! Seriously kids don't even need that shit.

But on a more serious note, I cannot recall a time in my life where I have been more depressed than I am now. After over 2 years of commited work I have received nada for it, not even a raise. I get little respect because of my young age in the field. I can't live where I want to because it's out of reach. I just don't know what I have going for me anymore. No social life, nothing. I don't feel like I'm worth anything. I just want to get in my car and drive off forever.

Sad to hear how things are going for you, Jeff. All I can say is try to see your situation as a time after a shitty period in your life where you try to find something else to strive for everyday.

Tired. I didn't sleep well last night. Then I woke up late this morning to find I got surprise baby sitting duties. I made the best of it though... Dreamcast makes kids happy.

^ That is some smart thinking, Brotherman

I am annoyed at all the ants in the house. They just keep coming out of nowhere!

^ Thanks. And those ants are probably coming form under your house. I've had it happen before. Just get a box of these. We used them one summer during a ant invasion. About a week latter it was over. Around late November/early December I went under the house to get our Christmas decoration and I found a abandoned ant metropolis.
Oh, I'm feeling pretty good today.

Worn out and waiting for pay day.

I'm moving in a little over a week. Going to the University of Oregon in September. As soon as I get up there I need to be hunting for a job to pay for all this. Meanwhile I've recently made some new friends here and I'm already moving away. So I've got a lot of mixed feelings going on at the moment. Excitement, nervousness, sadness.

tao wrote:

Yukupo wrote:That sucks, Tao. What university/major are you trying to enter? You mentioned portfolio, are you going into art?

I'm an illustration major. I was planning to apply to Long Beach, which I heard has a strong art program, and I also wanted the exposure with other students in different majors. I'll apply for the Fall semester, but judging by the way things are going, they're going to try and cut enrollment as much as they can.
I'm considering applying to Art Center in Pasadena, which is a private college and has a seriously good/famous reputation, but I'm going to need to develop a really kickass portfolio to earn some scholarships to pay for it. Right now I feel my stuff is enough to get me admitted, but not outstanding enough to earn money to pay for it. My portfolio kicks something, but no ass kicking I can see. I'm a tough self-critic so maybe a hiatus from a regular school schedule will be what I need to really feel confident about what I'm doing.

Yeah, Illustration is something I'd be considering too. Right now I'm generalizing in Digital Arts. I chose to go to a regular University over an art school mainly because art school tuitions and fees are bloody insane. But yeah, like what you said it's good to be around students of other majors too. I still am not sure what exact direction I'm going in but I'm trying to diversify my skills and my portfolio as much as I can so I'm adaptable.

Allergies have been kicking my ass this summer. I'm always coughing because it affects my asthma. I may need to be hooked up to a nebulizer machine 1-2 a day. Not even 26 yet and I am already feeling like an old man. I am on like 3 different allergy meds.

The good news is that in northern VT the leaves are already changing so I hope the pollen levels drop significantly soon.

Alive. Thats about it.

Doing better. Hoping to FINALLY get picked to be transferred to corporate in Bonita Springs, FL. Tomorrow morning I am going to one of those crazy health care town hall meetings with Sen. Bernie Sanders. I hope I get on the news. Maybe I'll be accused of being a Nazi sympathizer as Nancy Posi elso eloquently stated it or just someone who is being paid by the insurance companies. Here is a video of Ronald Regan speaking in 1961 on nationalized health care that hasn't gone stale.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRdLpem-AAs