darkly wrote:But yeah other than that I'm different. The past five years alone sometimes feel like a lifetime, I think they may have changed me the most.
This is definitely the case with me, as well. As Bambi said earlier, I feel like I've come almost full-circle as well. Between 18(a year before I started the dojo) to now, when I am 28, I feel like I've gone through many lifetimes. When I turned 21(the legal drinking age in America), I kind of went crazy for a while with drinking and partying, trying to stay caught up with my friends who were getting into that scene, and I did a lot of things I regret. It didn't last long though, as I got involved with martial arts in order to give myself some discipline. When I hit about 23, I met my wife and, at the same time, got into a full-time job as a computer programmer. I'm not sure which had more of an impact, but I went through a long time where I felt like I couldn't even remember high school or the dojo days, but I'm almost back to where my mind and passtimes have met up with what they were back then, and my stupid days after I turned 21 feel like a distant memory that are as foreign to me as the rest once were.
tao wrote:Some turbulence over time have also allowed me to be more aware of my emotions. Not that I've become some crying emotional wreck but in my normal state it's like soft background music now as opposed to silence/quiet. Very strange but also very interesting.
I think this is something that really signifies growing up. When you have become where you can recognize things about yourself, but don't allow it to bowl you over or anything.
One thing that's definitely changed from how I was back in the heyday when I went to the dojos all the time is that I can no longer allow the drama of what goes on on the dojo to affect me. When the dojo split off and half went to RP and have stayed there, it was a pretty hard thing to deal with at the time (which is kind of silly, when you think about it), and I've gotten to the point where I'll just go as I can, read and respond to what I want, and just leave all of that behind me. I'm not really aware of what might have happened to you at SD as i haven't been there in forever, but I think your decision to break away and focus on your own site is a good thing for you, and will help you to focus on yourself and stay happy and healthy.